I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
