I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
