I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What a dumb baby whore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
