god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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