Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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