my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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