Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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