Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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