So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
