So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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