Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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