He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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