Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We are all done wearing pants today
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
