so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
