i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
