thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
