i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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