we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
