Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
