spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am spending my child support on dildos
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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