i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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