dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
