its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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