Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
