i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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