Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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