You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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