He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize