I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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