I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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