Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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