Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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