That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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