That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
