My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
