Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you still have your period?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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