was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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