so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
