she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
jump out the window naked night went bad
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