i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
