My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
