I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
