Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
