the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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