That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
