I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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