i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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