hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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