Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Guy Shares All The â€˜New Discoveriesâ€™ Heâ€™s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And Itâ€™s Hilariously Relatable
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls Heâ€™s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.