I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout