if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again