she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO