There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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