I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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