Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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